Its The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year....

Christmas is never normal in the Brown Family. Never. We do have the entertaining part down though. For example, my English Grandad has always enjoyed a traditional Plum Pudding after dining. Plum Pudding is best served after pouring a bit of brandy on top and then igniting it with a match. Fire hazard. Pure fire hazard. This same man performed a "science experiment" with fire one summer, that resulted in an explosion in the kitchen sink and all of my brothers and cousins horrified, face down on the linoleum floor....my grandmother has never moved so fast, while I continued watching Nick in the Afternoon.

Lately, the grandparents have been treating us all to a fine dining experience after the gift opening and this year we continued the tradition with fine manners to boot. The Putney Inn may not wish us back. My mother and her sister, Sue, found it necessary to shove various foods up their noses, spoons dangling from their cheek bones (yes, cheek bones) and the tips of their noses. Not embarrassing at all. This was immediately followed by my mother "forcing" game time upon all 14 of us. "Button-button, who's got the button!?" She announces. "Mom, it's not 1950, what the heck are you talking about?" We move on to making napkin hats. Blake moves on to making napkin art of all kinds, swans, flowers, neck ties....he puts the rest of us to shame.

In the midst of the napkin creations, the betting ensues. My beautiful little, 14 year old cousin, Taylor, orders a monstrous prime rib accompanied by buttery mashed potatoes and greens. "I bet you $5 you can't eat that whole thing," I taunt. "Done." She retorts. And "done" she did. Now it's her turn to bet and she challenges me to walk around the entire Inn with a napkin tied to my head like a bonnet. I do. We pass the $5 bet onto my brothers, who must now also walk around the entire Inn (there are now about 100 other very nicely dressed, holiday going families, plus the staff) with napkins on their heads. Napkins that have been transformed into crowns and bishop hats, and then a napkin necktie is added to the ensemble. They're up not 30 seconds marching through the posts and beams of the old dining room when a boy about 4 years old jumps up from his table and laughing, takes their photo. Now everyone is watching and herds of people are starting to pour in.

From there we move on and the brothers bet another cousin to drink a water glass filled with crap from the table. We joke about betting my aunt to shove an entire chocolate cake in her mouth at once and get a bit riotous as we all chime in adding extra dollars here and there if she gags, which she promises she will if this feat is even attempted. Will another cousin dare go pull up a chair randomly at a random table, not say a word and just begin eating off his new friend's plates? Or will Blake serenade a random group with Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas Is You?"

Before another bet is taken my 88 year old Grandad is busy making another napkin hat and we decide to call it a day. At least my mother didn't put anything else up her nose and no fire extinguishers were needed. I can't wait til next year.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May you find joy and entertainment with your friends and family this Christmas Day.